April 4, 2015 = Poem #4
Smile
What makes you smile
As you go through your day?
Is it lots of power
Or a high rate of pay?
A fancy car, designer shoes
An argument you know you can’t loose.
Maybe, though you’re more like me
A country kind of girl.
Who’s frown is turned upside down
At the sight of a frisky squirrel.
A goat on a hill, a calf in the hay
These are the sights that brighten my day.
Ducks on the pond, lambs in a pile
It’s the simple things in life
That make me smile.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. “ Isaiah 53:5
For me, one sure sign of spring are the daffodils in my yard that burst forth each year from the dormant earth and open their petals like little faces lifted to the sun. I anticipate their arrival and wonder at their simple beauty. I found the daffodil pictured above while still in bud, laying flat on the ground. A victim of a neighborhood dog I suspect. As Paul Harvey used to say “Now, for the rest of the story”…. I couldn’t just leave it there, so I cut its stem and lifted it from its makeshift grave. On closer inspection I realized that in the process of being beaten down and crushed, a pine needle had pierced the tender blossom. I didn’t have much hope for the bruised and punctured bud to bloom but I removed the needle, took the limp flower in and put it in a vase of water anyway. Much to my surprise, a few short hours later what was once a seemingly lifeless bud had lifted its head and spread its petals to become the flower you see in the picture, the flower it was meant to be. It may seem silly but it brought me such a sense of joy to see what was once left for dead to now be full of life and beauty! As I admired that daffodil, I noticed the holes in the delicate petals left behind by the piercing it had endured, and for a moment I just stood there, breathless….staring……it was as if the blinds in my heart and mind had been lifted and the “Son” was brightly shining in. I had no idea that when I bent down to pick up a fallen daffodil, my sign of spring and renewal, it would so vividly remind me that Jesus was beaten, bruised, and pierced. He was then put in a makeshift grave left for dead. Just a few short days later He lifted his head, walked out of the tomb, and spread His arms to show the holes in His nail pierced hands. Jesus, risen and full of life and beauty had endured the unthinkable for one reason and one reason only, so that you and I can be renewed and become the people we were meant to be. The miracle of Easter shown to me through a daffodil. Hallelujah! And now you know the rest of the story……..
Pierced
Put on a cross
Innocence ignored
Endured torture and pain
Ridiculed
Cursed
Encumbered by my sin
Died so that I may live
“Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you” “You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing” ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been very blessed in my life with wonderful friends! Over the years some have come and gone, but they’re still part of who I am today. Some friends live and work close by and we’re in touch regularly. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. And then there are those special, priceless few who almost know me better than I know myself. They are the ones who get me. They understand my weaknesses and encourage my strengths. We laugh together. Grieve together. Celebrate together. We experience life together. They are my life preservers, my sounding boards, my voices of reason, and I know that they will always be there when I need them. Whether we’re near or far my “heart friends” and I share an abundant friendship and today I rejoice in those relationships through this poem:
Abundant Friendship
Friendship. Abundant, strong. Rare, lucky to be found. Time and distance don’t dim the heart. Precious.
April first and I made it through the whole day without being fooled once. I have to admit I kind of missed the silly attempts my students used to make to try and trick me. “Your shoe’s untied, Miss Cindy”, “There’s a spider in your hair!”, or their favorite rubber snake on my desk trick. Of course I always had to act the fool for them (it really wasn’t too hard), but I didn’t mind because the sound of their “April Fools” and laughter filled this foolish ole teacher’s heart with joy.
It’s hard for me to believe but April also marks the year anniversary of my writing this blog. The journey began last year at this time with my involvement in Kevin Cordi’s Poetry Box Project and has continued to be an avenue for me to do what I love, write!
April is also special because it is officially designated Poetry Month. In honor of that, a storyteller I admire, Granny Sue, posted that she was going to write a poem a day throughout this month and not only that, she also challenged her readers to do the same. I have decided, foolish as it may be, to accept her challenge. Maybe you’d like to join us “April Fools” too, and let your inner poet shine! I hope you do!
April 1, 2015
Unexpected Blessings
A card, a gift,
A wave or a smile
Lift our spirits
For quite a while.
A touch, a wink,
A warm embrace
Help to ease
The trials we face.
A photo, a prize
A laugh or a tear
Unexpected Blessings
Wish us to persevere.
Looking out my kitchen window just now I watched Pixie and Joy, the small dogs that live next door to me, running around outside; tongues out, panting and their little tails wagging as fast as their little legs were moving. Having their pen expanded this past weekend has given them a lot more room to frolic in. The funny thing is, Joy was running with great abandon, from one end of the pen to the other enjoying her new found space. Pixie however, didn’t venture past the old fence line. She stayed behind the tufts of grass that had grown along her former boundary. For a moment, she stepped tentatively over the grass and almost immediately hopped back to the area she was familiar with despite seeing Joy having a grand time in their new expanse.
Oh how like Pixie I am! Here it is, time for me to explore new territory but I’m so afraid to step out of my familiar confines of life even though I know there may be exciting opportunities waiting for me. What holds me back? Probably the same things that are holding Pixie back. She must face the unfamiliar sounds and smells of new dogs who are closer to the enlarged yard area just as I, while exploring new possibilities, may have to meet and interact with people I don’t know, something that makes me extremely nervous! Pixie and I both seem to find change intimidating. We’re more at ease with what we are accustomed to. Stepping over the mound of grass is risky for Pix and stepping outside my comfort zone, putting myself out there, sets me up for a chance to falter or worse yet, fail. Finally, the first step is always the hardest, whether it’s a leap for a small pup to enter new play ground or this ole gal taking a walk on the wild side of trying something new, getting started is the biggest hurdle to reaching the other side.
Pixie will come to enjoy her wide open space sooner rather than later. The question is will I follow suit? Will I approach the boundaries I have set for myself in the past, pause, wag my tail, and take a leap of faith into new regions of life? It may take me a few tries, but I hope I’m about ready to discover a place for myself with a little more room to frolic!
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-think about such things.’
Philippians 4:8-9
It’s been cold, no frigid here lately! There’s been snow, wind, and ice! Our furnace has run overtime and the house still isn’t warm. It’s been so cold that we’ve had to leave the water in our faucets moving so the pipes wouldn’t freeze. The song of drip, drip, drip filled the house and it also got me thinking. My husband likes to tell me; “you’ve got to watch that thinking”, even so I do a lot of it these days. Anyway, in the midst of churning thoughts in my little mind, I wondered how we can keep our own pipes from freezing?
In today’s world it’s easy for me and I would guess for you too, to let our hearts become hardened, frozen if you will. We help others only to find it was a scam. We need help but no one comes to our rescue. We do our best yet our efforts go unnoticed. People we respect disappoint us. We disappoint others. Senseless violence and hatred fill the news and maybe our lives. Little by little our defenses go up, our enthusiasm diminishes, the flow of love and compassion slows as our heart slowly solidifies.
The Bible warns us about having a hard heart. Having a hardened heart clogs up our ears so we don’t really listen and shuts up our eyes so we don’t clearly see . Our lives lose joy and we move through our days on autopilot. Our feelings become frosty and backed up. No longer do we function as we were designed to. It is a bleak, bitter place to be.
So, back to my question. How do we keep our own pipes and hearts from becoming frozen? Believe it or not, I think the answer is the same for us as it has been for the plumbing in my kitchen sink. First, we must keep moving in the right direction. Even when everyone and everything around us tells us to stop, we must continue to drip, drip, drip:
Do right
Resist quitting
Invest in others
Pray, Praise, and find your Passion.
In addition to keeping the water dripping, I also opened the cupboards so that warm air from the furnace could surround the pipes. We too, must be open to the warmth around us. Whether it’s generated by the love of our family, caring friends, the beauty of nature to name a few, we must not close ourselves off from the glowing possibilities around us.
Finally, in my attempt to keep the water running, I closed all the blinds to put a barrier between the rooms and the threatening temperature outside. Pulling a blind is easy compared to turning a blind eye to the grim side of life, but I find when I’m focused on the cold, harsh happenings around me I tend to develop a frosty attitude, freezing me in my tracks and making it pretty much impossible to accomplish anything worthwhile. I was blessed today to hear an excellent sermon on this very thing. (I love when God does that!) The message of the sermon was to seek out the positive. Look for the good in people and situations even when they are small and hard to find. The message also included the importance of acknowledging our blessings and expressing our gratitude for each one. And maybe most importantly, sharing our positive attitude with others. The lesson isn’t an easy one. It’s something I’ll have to work at everyday but I truly believe it’s the secret to keeping our hearts on fire and being able to radiate that warmth into a chilly world that desperately needs it. And who knows? Maybe our spark will ignite a flame in those around us and before we know it, we’ll feel the hope of Spring and our plumbing problems will be solved!
“Wisdom Begins in Wonder” Socrates
While glancing through my husband’s recent issue of “Reader’s Digest”, I ran across the story entitled “A World of Wonder”. It is described as an “Appreciation in Words and Photographs”. In honor of that cover story the editor listed things that have filled her with wonder and it got me thinking…..What fills ME with wonder? So, after much pondering and in no order of importance here are twenty things that have filled me with wonder lately:
1. My baby girl having a baby
2. The rhythm and song of the sea
3. The colors, sounds, and dynamics of birds at my feeders
4. The glistening, crystal world created by ice on trees
5. Strength given to people in crisis
6. Bulbs that lay dormant underground and then at the perfect moment burst forth into the sunshine
7. The unbreakable bond with my sisters
8. The utter silence after a snow storm
9. Pure and perfect artistry found in nature
10. Holding hands with a child
11. My son’s faith
12. The effect of music on my soul
13. How as teachers we can predict the weather by our students’ behavior
14. The life cycle of a butterfly
15. That no matter how old I get I still need my mom
16. The smell of a bookstore
17. Reading the same piece of scripture and finding something new and meaningful each time
18. Notes left for me on the kitchen counter
19. The infinitude of stars visible on a clear night
20. Grace
The amazing thing is I could list 20 more and then 20 more. I find the longer I focus my attention on those things that defy logic and common sense. Those things that are beyond my understanding and those things that just leave me speechless, the longer my list becomes. The homey smells of bacon and coffee. Friendships that last a lifetime. A brand new box of crayons. Happy tears….. Life is full of wonder if we just take the time to notice. Think about how different our world would be if we shifted our attention to wonderful things instead of noticing our differences, the negatives, and the disappointments around us. Just as Liz Vaccareillo, editor of “Reader’s Digest”, challenged her readers to make their own list, so I challenge you, my readers, to stop, look around, and recognize those things in your life that fill YOU with wonder. I think you may be surprised at how many there are and the difference identifying them makes on your outlook. We live in an amazing world surrounded by miracles every day. Why don’t you begin today to Wonder as you Wander through yours.
When You Wish Upon a Star
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do
Faith is kind
She brings to those she loves
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true
When we are young we all have dreams, goals, and longings. But what about now? I’m almost 56 years old. Are my dreaming days over? For a while I thought so, until I retired, that is, and now I have time to contemplate. Recently, I’ve begun to let a dream or two creep back into my mind and now my heart has joined in. Tiny flickers like stars in the summer sky waiting to ignite.
Unfortunately, accompanying these “flights of fancy” is an insistent voice that whispers things like “you’re too old”, “it will never work”, you’re not good enough” in an attempt to douse the flames of hope and excitement before I even give them a chance to shine.
I’d like to believe ole Jiminy Cricket, that making dreams come true is as easy as wishing on a star. Life has taught me however, that wishing and dreaming are the easy parts. It takes work and dedication to make them come true and sometimes even then they don’t. I’ve found it way too easy to just give up on dreaming and now I find that it’s uncomfortable for me to acknowledge these new desires of my soul. It’s much easier for this procrastinator to do just that. I love the quote; “Procrastination is the killer of dreams.” How true I’ve let that be for me!
Writing this post is my first step in giving myself permission to dream again and not just dream but to do everything I can to make my dreams come true. I will have to battle my worst enemy….myself. I’ll have to DO instead of just think. I’ll have to believe. I’ll have to risk failing. I’ll have to find ways to” fan the flames” until the burning desire in my heart is greater than the fear in my head. And maybe, just maybe tonight I’ll go outside, look up, and “wish on a star as dreamers do”….. just in case Jiminy’s right.
Dare to believe
Realize it’s time to try
Envision success
Avoid Procrastination
Make it happen
Cindy
I hope to keep you up to date on my journey of following a dream. I would love to know what your dreams are! Feel free to share with me by leaving your comments.
The Big Muskie Bucket
Not too long ago, my husband and I took a road trip in Ohio. One of the things we wanted to do was to find out what “The Big Muskie Bucket” was. We had passed the sign for it many times but didn’t have any idea where to find it. It took us a while, but when we did, it was well worth the drive. We learned that it is the largest mobile mining dragline bucket ever made and large it is! I am 5’7” but standing inside Ole Muskie made me feel tiny! Lately, watching the news, reading Face Book posts, and interacting with the world around me has also begun to make me feel small.
I’m pretty sure you’re going to think that I’m off my rocker (remember I’ve told you before that I am crazy) but there’s no better place that proves my point than on the road. I know that I’m old fashioned but when I learned to drive waaaaay back in the 70’s our instructor instilled in us a responsibility to use good manners on the road. Signaling and waiting to see the other person’s headlights in your mirror before pulling in front of them, moving over to allow others to merge, and waiting to pull into traffic until there is room enough as to not cause another driver to have to slow down are just a few examples I still believe in. Simple, silly things? Maybe, but these simple things can make the difference between a pleasant trip and high blood pressure.
The road however, isn’t the only place where we need good manners. Somewhere along our way, we as a society have become so focused on ourselves and our agendas that saying a “please”, “thank you”, or “excuse me” is all but extinct. Add on top of that the need we all have to be heard, often at the expense of listening to anyone else’s point of view. This equation creates many unpleasant interactions. I’ve witnessed several situations where the parties were saying the same thing in different ways and neither was willing to stop arguing long enough to realize they were more alike than different. It’s happening more and more every day. I also can’t figure out when it became acceptable to leave our grocery carts in parking places, throw diapers and fast food trash out our car windows, or treat service workers disrespectfully. Simple, silly things?
I’ve always tried to live my life putting others first. In whatever situation I find myself in, I aspire to treat others the way I want to be treated. I liked to think it made a difference, but recently I‘ve begun to doubt myself. How can one person make the world a better place? What makes me think that I can effect a positive impact on those around me? The happenings in the world tell me over and over that I’m a small fish in a big pond…… a simple, silly person. So, feeling dismayed, my heart has been heavy, I‘ve questioned my ability to make a difference, and I’ve felt like giving up. Thankfully that’s when God stepped in. One morning recently, when I was feeling especially discouraged the scripture for my daily devotional was “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven,” Matthew 5:16. Then soon after that I read a quote that said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that”, Martin Luther King. Coincidence? I don’t believe in coincidence. Jesus and Martin Luther King were both men doing the right thing in the midst of a world that tried to make them feel small. Both spent their lives leading humanity on a new and better path. Both went to their deaths fearlessly and selflessly standing up for what is right. Now, let me be very clear. I am certainly not anywhere close to being a Martin Luther King or Jesus! Their words however reach across history to remind and teach me that doing right is always the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter how it makes ME feel and I don’t have to worry about the results. I just have to simply be faithful in the journey one small step at a time. Now that doesn’t seem silly at all.
Wow! It’s been since October that I’ve written a post! I have many excuses…..I’ve worked on a couple projects up at school, I’ve traveled a little, and getting lost in the holiday rush…..all good reasons for not having the time to write…..good, but not the real reason.
The real reason I haven’t written is my own disillusionment and fear. It was eye-opening for me just now to go back and read my October post, “It’s Time”. I talk about taking off and living my dreams but instead I have done the exact opposite. Actually, I’ve been hiding.
I felt ready to retire. I felt it was time. I felt it was for the best for me and the school. I felt God was leading me to a new life and I couldn’t wait. But waiting is exactly what I’m doing and I must admit I’m not doing a very good job of it. Somehow I thought that my new future was going to emerge from writing this blog. It hasn’t. I was sure opportunities were going to knock on my door. The only opportunities I’ve been given are the spam messages to improve my blog that fill my inbox. I thought I was going to fulfill the longing of my creative spirit and make a difference. I thought I knew where I was going…..
Keeping busy hasn’t been a problem. I’ve spent a lot of time back at school substituting, putting up bulletin boards, chairing special projects and I’ve enjoyed it. It’s just that this isn’t how I envisioned it to be. Have I made a big mistake? Did I take my future into my own hands instead of following God’s lead? I talk a big game but truthfully, I’ve been scared and disappointed in myself. What have I done? What am I supposed to do now? I know…….wait.
So, here I am back to tell you that while I wish I was flying, sailing, climbing, or traveling on a new exciting adventure, I’m actually a little lost and still not sure where I’m going. It’s a good thing I have a patient husband, family who support me, and friends that cheer me on. Because really when it’s all said and done, it doesn’t matter where I’m headed. What matters most is who’s along for the ride and I am richly blessed by MY “traveling partners”! Am I a little anxious? Yes. Is this how I pictured retirement? No. The reality though is life rarely happens the way we expect it to. Once we realize it, we always have the choice to give up (as I sort of have been doing) or embrace the moment we’re in (what I’m now going to try to do). Armed with the confidence that God has a plan, that He can see the whole picture, and the knowledge that I’m surrounded by people who care about me, I’m going to try and relax, let go of my preconceptions, and be grateful for this time of discovery. Where will it lead me you ask? Your guess is as good as mine. I believe we’ll just have to WAIT and see.
