Trust ~5/31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

“When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.” Psalm 56:3 (NASB) / Pixabay

While traveling along this journey we call life, I often veer off in the wrong direction; especially during  times of trial! My initial reactions usually include hand wringing, imagining all sorts of horrible endings, whining….well you get the picture and it’s not pretty.  It’s certainly not a picture of trust.

Trust for me has always been a rocky road.  While I “know” that I can put my trust in God’s plan, I somehow bump right over the peace that trusting God brings and land directly into the pit of despair I bring on myself!  Fears: real and imagined, stall me right in my tracks.

I wish I could say that I have my path all mapped out toward a life where I’m no longer afraid and that trusting God is how I now navigate each situation that arises, unfortunately I can’t.  What I can say however, is how grateful I am that I’m headed in the right direction following the only One who can get me to where I’m truly meant to be!

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Poem of Hope ~ 4/31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

 

I’ve had a bit of writing anxiety lately which has caused me to literally avoid looking at my lap top. (Out of sight. Out of mind. Or so I thought.)  I’ve found though, that writing is a part of who I am and I really miss it, so…. I have decided to join in on the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com

Each day in October I’ll write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This is mostly an unedited style of writing  that I’m sure will challenge this “recovering perfectionist”; but hopefully in a good way! Please pray that I won’t quit, I’ll have fun, and that I’ll learn more about myself, writing, and my relationship with God. I’d love for you to follow along with me on this journey! Better yet, join in!

Time starts now!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV) / Pixabay

 

The world it seems

Is going wrong.

The weak are bullied

By the strong.

 

It makes us weary

It’s hard to cope

But through it all

We must have hope.

 

Do we sit

And wonder why?

Wring our hands,

Let out a sigh?

 

It’s way too easy

To whine and mope

But through it all

We must have hope.

Time! (Sorry, this rule follower is going to break the five-minute rule and finish)

Pointing fingers

Yelling loud,

Only serves

To anger the crowd.

 

It may feel impossible,

The end of our rope

But never forget

Jesus Christ is our Hope!

 

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Create ~ 3/31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

I’ve had a bit of writing anxiety lately which has caused me to literally avoid looking at my lap top. (Out of sight. Out of mind. Or so I thought.)  I’ve found though, that writing is a part of who I am and I really miss it, so…. I have decided to join in on the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com

Each day in October I’ll write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This is mostly an unedited style of writing  that I’m sure will challenge this “recovering perfectionist”; but hopefully in a good way! Please pray that I won’t quit, I’ll have fun, and that I’ll learn more about myself, writing, and my relationship with God. I’d love for you to follow along with me on this journey! Better yet, join in!

Time starts now!

“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.” Revelation 4:11 (NIV)

Today is the first day I’m joining my dear friend, Robin in leading an after school Author’s Club at our local Elementary School!  We hope to create an enthusiasm for writing through literature, art, and well…..writing!  It’s exciting and inspiring to watch young students discover their own creative side!

With this on my mind, I happened to look out my window and in that small rectangular opening to the outside world I was amazed at all that God had created!  Within the parameters of my view I saw plants, bees, spider webs, birds, the breeze, and a sliver of blue sky.  All these creations working together just as God designed them to be and do!

You and I were also created to be and do.  It’s my prayer that just as our students will put together skills they’ve been given and nature works in harmony to accomplish what it has been created to do; you and I will pursue the purposes we have.  If we can do that, just think of all the ways God can use us to create a better world!

Times up!

 

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Tell ~ 2/31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

I’ve had a bit of writing anxiety lately which has caused me to literally avoid looking at my lap top. (Out of sight. Out of mind. Or so I thought.)  I’ve found though, that writing is a part of who I am and I really miss it, so…. I have decided to join in on the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com

Each day in October I’ll write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This is mostly an unedited style of writing  that I’m sure will challenge this “recovering perfectionist”; but hopefully in a good way! Please pray that I won’t quit, I’ll have fun, and that I’ll learn more about myself, writing, and my relationship with God. I’d love for you to follow along with me on this journey! Better yet, join in!

Here I go….Time Starts Now!

 

“Tell your children about it in the years to come, and let your children tell their children. Pass the story down from generation to generation.” Joel 1:3 (NLT)

What do your hands tell about you?  Mine have become wrinkled and covered in age spots.  My fingers are not as straight or limber as they used to be.  It’s not surprising though, these hands have worked, nurtured, loved, disciplined, applauded, and wrung in worry.  They tell the story of my life.

There are hands however, that have saved my life!  The hands of Jesus.  Pierced by nails as he hung on the cross dying for my sins.  Those precious hands tell the story of salvation and the greatest love there is!

My hands won’t ever tell a story like that, but I can! Lately,  I’ve been thinking a lot about the kind of witness I am to all God has done in my life.  I need and hope to be more willing to share  my journey of Grace with others.  Hands down, it’s the most important story I have to tell!

Times up!

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Worship ~ 1/31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

I’ve had a bit of writing anxiety lately which has caused me to literally avoid looking at my lap top. (Out of sight. Out of mind. Or so I thought.)  I’ve found though, that writing is a part of who I am and I really miss it, so…. I have decided to join in on the 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes at http://www.fiveminutefriday.com 

Each day in October I’ll write for five minutes on a given prompt.  This is mostly an unedited style of writing  that I’m sure will challenge this “recovering perfectionist”; but hopefully in a good way! Please pray that I won’t quit, I’ll have fun, and that I’ll learn more about myself, writing, and my relationship with God. I’d love for you to follow along with me on this journey! Better yet, join in!

Here I go….Time Starts Now!

“Shout to the Lord, all the earth; break out in praise and sing for joy! (Psalm 98:4 NLT) Pixabay

I have a donkey living next door to me.  We’ve named him Jedediah.  The first time he broke out with his bray made me jump and he continues to startle me each time he lets loose!  With his head lifted high and ears extended, he opens his mouth and literally screams at the top of his lungs; sometimes for several minutes.  It can happen anytime in the day or night and Jedediah doesn’t care who it might disturb.

I think worship should be like that!  At any time, day or night, we should lift our heads, extend our arms, and break out with shouts of praise for all to hear about what God has done for us!  Unfortunately, I often am the opposite of Jedediah and hesitate to worship like this for fear of bothering those around me or more than that, of embarrassing myself. Maybe you’re like that too. I hope to become more like Jedediah in the future and put a little more “hee haw” into my worship and let my praise be a joyful noise for all to hear!

Times Up! Whew! That went by fast!

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Big Buts

 

“Teach me your ways, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.” Psalm 86:11 (ESV)

Do you have a big but? (Sometimes I crack myself up!) Well, I do! Today, while praying during my devotions, I earnestly told God that I desired to be radically used by Him.  The words however, were not yet off my tongue before I felt a tightening in my chest and breath caught in my throat. Yep, there it was.  I knew it and God definitely knew it because it’s been in my prayers before.  

My BIG BUT…….

Wanting to be used by God, to hear his calling and answer, IS my sincere desire BUT:  I want to do it without leaving my comfort zone, sacrificing too much, or suffering in the process.  In other words, I want to do God’s work BUT do it MY way!  

Do you remember the “Parable of the Talents”?  (Matthew 25:14-30)  Jesus told his listeners a story about a man who gave his servants some of his money to take care of in his absence.  Two of the servants used the money they’d been given to make more for their master.  The last servant was afraid to take a risk…he had a “big but” if you will; and so, he buried the coins only to return what he’d been given.  I am afraid I’m an awful lot like that servant; offering a poor return on God’s investment.

God entrusts us with talents, time, money, and other gifts.  What we do with them is up to us. Will we use them to serve God or will we, ME, make excuses or let fear keep us from doing what He asks of us?  

So, what’s a gal with a BIG BUT to do? I don’t have it all figured out yet but here’s where I need to start:

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God.  May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on firm footing.” Psalm 143:10 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

Did you catch that? We’re not supposed to do it on our own! (You’d think I’d learn by now). It’s God’s instruction and guidance we need to depend on to make the task before us  attainable. It’s also important to be willing to put one foot in front of the other and “walk the walk” in our everyday lives to prepare us for all God calls us to do. I’m certainly not there yet and it won’t happen all at once, but I believe with prayer, practice, perseverance, and taking baby steps as I follow after God, my BIG but will shrink until it disappears from my prayers all together. I look forward to the time when it’s finally “behind” me! (Get it? behind? I did it again!) How about you? Is your BIG BUT getting in the way of doing all God calls you to do? I pray that this may be the first step for you AND me on our “but-free” journey to doing God’s will God’s way!     

 

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A Divided Heart ~Wise Wednesday 6/28/17

“When a child is born, so are grandmothers.” ~Judith Levy Pixabay

Divided: separated; shared; to diverge; cleave………..

I have decided that being a grandparent causes you to suffer from a “divided heart”. Beginning at the instant you learn your child is having a child, it’s as if a magnetic force immediately draws your thoughts, dreams, prayers, and overwhelming love in the direction of that tiny, beating heart, hidden from the world. 

Fast forward to that breathless moment when the miracle that will call you “MiMi” (replace this with whatever your grands call you or will call you) is placed in your arms.  Everything else fades away. Cradling this precious armful, older heart to brand new heart, it seems they beat in unison, filling a place you didn’t know was empty, and nothing is ever the same again.

Time is both precious and tormenting. The longer you want to savor the sight, breathe in the scent, and caress the tiny fingers and toes of this new person in your life; the faster the minutes, hours, and days seem fly by. All too soon you’re faced with saying goodbye. Your stomach clenches.  Tears flow.  A heart divides.

A temporary condition?  Afraid not. A one time thing? Nope! Carson is two now: my heart?  Still  pulled in different directions.  We’ve recently been blessed with Owen: my heart? The chasm has grown.   The struggle is real! While my very being wants to wipe every tear, experience every milestone, calm every fear, and read bedtime stories every night with my grandsons; I’m also drawn home. My normal: the routine, responsibilities, schedule, and those that wait for me, beckon. Yes, a heart divided….wanting to cling to one place while yearning for the other.

Pondering this heart situation, it has occurred to me that we suffer in a similar way as Christians.  

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Colossians 3:1-2 (NIV)

Above?  Earthly Things? Earthly things? Above? A heart divided! I  often find myself torn between a heart that is focused on me and my wants and one that is looking to follow God’s plan for my life. Maybe you do, too. And while we want to be home with Christ, where our fears will be calmed and our tears wiped away; to get there, we are faced with saying goodbye to THIS home. We cling to our earthly life and yet yearn for Heaven. Thank goodness God sent Jesus to bridge the gap of our broken hearts! Jesus said:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.” “I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:1-4, 6-7 (NIV)

I wasn’t prepared for the powerful love that comes with being a grandparent. I’m blessed to only live four hours away from the boys and technology helps keep us connected in-between visits.  Goodbyes will always be hard. As my heart continues to pull me in different directions, I pray it reminds me to always stay connected to the One who, with the greatest love of all, is preparing a place for me where my heart will be divided no more.

 

 

 

 

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M’m! M’m! Monday 5/8/17

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10(NLT)

Container Problem

 I have a container problem!  It never fails! When I go to pick out a container for the left overs from dinner, I almost always come back with a dish that’s too big for the amount of food I have.  On top of that….I’ve usually picked up and put down three or four different sizes before deciding on the one that ultimately ends up being too big!  Nine times out of ten, I don’t have what it takes to fill the container I picked to do the job. 

You know? Sometimes I feel the same way about myself!  (Yes, I’m comparing my Rubbermaid and Tupperware to life, now!) Stay with me….There are times when I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to do something but I’m afraid I don’t have enough…enough wisdom, enough energy, enough courage, enough whatever to fill the position or to do the job and so I. Don’t. Do. It.  Ever been there?  

Just like digging in my container cupboard looking for the right fit, I sort through in my mind  sizing up all the other people who I think would be better able to fill the need. The problem is: no one has started that book study that I’ve felt compelled to start, the idea to provide a free lunch for those in need remains just that, an idea, and opening my house as a gathering place? A big dream waiting to be fulfilled. 

Here’s what I’m learning. It’s not about me! (I know, I know. You’ve heard this before.  You should know by now I’m a slow learner!) All throughout the Bible we find people who believe they aren’t at all suited to do what God asks them to do.  Some of them tell God He’s making a mistake, some tell Him to find someone else, and some even run in the opposite direction. Me? I sit in my chair and think about what God wants me to do.   God reassured those He chose that He’d be with them and would provide all they needed until they’d become a perfectly filled vessel for the job. 

“By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of His marvelous glory and excellence.” 2 Peter 1:3(NLV)

It’s the same for you and me.  We can be confident that if God is calling us to do something, He has chosen us because with Him we will be the right fit for the job.  We may have to step out of our comfort zone (talking to myself here). It may require more faith than we’re used to. It might just be plain scary! But, in the end when we open ourselves to God’s calling, trusting in Him to give us what we need; we may just find we are a match with what He’s prepared us to do…..just like the right lid for the perfect container!  Oh dear, don’t get me started on my problem finding the right lid……

Instead, let me share with you a delicious recipe where the bites are small and the flavor is big! A perfect combination to me! Hope it “fits” into your dinner menu soon! 

[amd-zlrecipe-recipe:29]

 

Ezekiel’s Journey

“Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” Psalm 25:4-5 (NLT) Pixabay

Miracles of Living Hope

Marilyn Uhl will be the first to tell you that establishing and running Living Hope High School in Bungoma, Kenya couldn’t happen without God.  She will also tell you that the longer she’s in Africa, the stronger her faith grows.  Marilyn has seen God work things out in strange and powerful ways when even she didn’t believe He would.  “I don’t know why we don’t have total faith because He never lets us down.” she reminds us.  “He might not answer us the way we want or when we want, but He always has our good in mind.”  The Living Hope journey continues with true stories of the miraculous ways God is working in the lives of Marilyn and her students.

Eziekiel’s Journey

Most of us cannot imagine living in the world that Ezekiel was living in during the post-election violence of 2007.  His whole country had erupted into tribal warfare, corruption was rampant, and no one could be trusted. At the time, Ezekiel’s parents were teaching their children the family business of preparing alcohol to sell to customers. It was a dangerous business, not one suited for children; but was the means of survival for them all.  Thankfully, Ezekiel’s parents also believed in the importance of school, so he had attended elementary classes and was excited to enter 7th grade with his friends, but… a brutal attack changed everything.

Ezekiel’s family lived in a mud and grass hut on land bordering another tribe.  It would be that tribe who would take everything from Ezekiel.  The tribal leaders decided they wanted the land the family owned and so in the dark of night, they surrounded the small home and set the roof on fire.  Ezekiel’s father was the first to confront the trespassers.  He was killed immediately.  His mother then ran from the home and Ezekiel watched in horror as she was dragged, screaming into the bush never to be seen again.  As the roof of the hut began to collapse, the children had no choice but to leave the “safety” of the hut, too.  Miraculously, the attacking tribesmen weren’t interested in the kids. With fear propelling them, they scattered into the pitch-black night.

Separated from what was left of his family and with no way to communicate with his brothers and sisters, Ezekiel decided to try and make it to his Uncle who lived on the family home place. It would be a long, hard journey.  Ezekiel was thirteen and his life had been violently ripped from him.  Getting to his Uncle was the only way he could see to start a new life and so he began to walk. He walked all day and hid himself along the road to sleep at night.  He walked and walked and walked some more all the while trying not to think about how hungry he was. Terrorized by the memories of what had happened to his family, exhausted, with no food, no money, he continued to put one foot in front of the other.  Ezekiel will tell you that he didn’t know Jesus at this time so he wasn’t praying, but hope still arrived in the form of a rumbling sound behind him.  He knew the approaching truck would take him into town.  In a split second, just as the truck passed by, Ezekiel leapt onto the back of the semi and held on for his very life!  Once on, he knew he couldn’t safely get off until the truck came to a stop; so there he was, a young boy, weak from hunger, clinging with all his might as the truck made its way over bumps and around curves in the small hope that he was on the final leg of his journey to a new life.When the truck finally arrived at its destination, Ezekiel literally fell off the back. He’d held on to the truck for so long he could hardly stand.  It had taken him two weeks to get to this point and he was exhausted, but from deep within, Ezekiel found his strength and finally made it to his Uncle’s home.

Ezekiel settled in and returned to school.  He was informed that he would have to repeat Grade 6 but he never gave up because he knew that education was important. Ezekiel moved on to High School.  He hadn’t been able to pay the fees but the teachers let him attend until he could get the money.  At the end of the second term Ezekiel still was unable to pay and so the school sent him home.

In the time Ezekiel had spent with his Uncle, he’d come to know and accept Jesus as his Savior.  As time passed and it looked like school wouldn’t be possible, Ezekiel’s Uncle reminded him not to worry, but rather to pray. And pray he did.  One evening Ezekiel’s Uncle went with friends to a wedding.  While traveling back and forth his Uncle learned of Living Hope High School and the help they provide for students who can’t afford an education.  Hearing this, Ezekiel’s prayers increased.  Waiting was hard but he knew his journey wasn’t over.  January turned into April and finally Ezekiel was asked to go to Living Hope for an interview. He soon received his admission letter and found himself a student at Living Hope High School. Ezekiel was dedicated to learning as much as he could both in his subjects and about the Bible, all the while thanking God for the miracle of continuing his education.

Ezekiel’s journey was difficult.  It was long.  It wasn’t the one he’d ever planned to take, and yet, he is right where he’s meant to be! He graduated from Living Hope High School and now is studying Dentistry at the University.  Ezekiel says he was lost, but God found him and step by step led him to his future. He now plans to use his skills as a dentist to give back to his community. More than that though, it is Ezekiel’s greatest hope to tell everyone he meets his story about God and all that He has done; inviting them (and now you) to join him on the miraculous journey that leads to everlasting life!

“So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do?  Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.  When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’” Luke 15:3-6 (NLT)

copyright Living Hope High School, Bungoma, Kenya

For more information on Living Hope High School, go to www.livinghopehighschool.org

Wise Wednesday ~ 3/8/17

“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”‘
Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

Time With Carson

My soul can get weary.  Been there? For me, it’s the striving I think.  Maybe it’s the same for you or maybe something else takes its toll on your soul. No matter how it gets that way, having a drained soul weighs you down. Joy is hard to find. Peace seems out of reach. And the energy to love as we should? Not there, disconnected, out of order.

I found myself in just such a place not too long ago. While blessings abounded around me, inside that most sacred place I felt hollow. It’s not that I’m ungrateful for all I have or don’t recognize God working in my life: I am and I do.  It may be those very things that shout and echo against the walls of my tired soul; “God has abundantly blessed you so Do more! Be more!” And then I don’t……I’m not…..My soul sighs.

It so happens that at the very time my soul felt depleted, I was privileged to babysit my wonderful grandson, Carson!  It may have appeared that I was taking care of him, but from milk and Mickey first thing in the morning until bedtime stories and goodnight prayers at the end of the day, Carson was mending my soul.

“And he said:  “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 (NIV)

Who’d have guessed that playing at the park, throwing sticks in a pond, or a walk along the creek would revive my tired soul? I watched as he stooped low to get an up close look at moss growing on a rock, spotted a bird gliding high across the sky, laughed at leaves on the wind, nestled in a pile of well loved blankets to fall asleep, and when afraid to go down the slide alone? He kept his eyes on me, let go of the sides, and sailed down into my waiting arms!

“Change and become like little children.” My time with Carson reminded me to: like him, engage in the world around me, find joy in little things, rest in the knowledge that I am loved, and most importantly:  to take my eyes off myself, loosen the grip I have on wanting control, and trust that even when I’m not sure what’s waiting for me; I know WHO’s waiting for me!

Children really DO heal our souls if we’ll only watch, listen, and learn to humble ourselves to become more like them.  Of course, this MiMi thinks Carson is the cutest, smartest, strongest, most talented child of all! (I’m sure you know one of those too!) When he puts his little hand in mine and looks up at me with his perfect tiny toothed grin my heart overflows with unconditional love and I want nothing more than to be sure he knows he’s treasured! And isn’t that just like God? He waits for us to put our hand with childlike wonder in his, look to him, and to know without a doubt that we are precious and loved.  To become more like a child, HIS child……now that’s refreshing to the soul!