Category Archives: Grandparents

A Divided Heart ~Wise Wednesday 6/28/17

“When a child is born, so are grandmothers.” ~Judith Levy Pixabay

Divided: separated; shared; to diverge; cleave………..

I have decided that being a grandparent causes you to suffer from a “divided heart”. Beginning at the instant you learn your child is having a child, it’s as if a magnetic force immediately draws your thoughts, dreams, prayers, and overwhelming love in the direction of that tiny, beating heart, hidden from the world. 

Fast forward to that breathless moment when the miracle that will call you “MiMi” (replace this with whatever your grands call you or will call you) is placed in your arms.  Everything else fades away. Cradling this precious armful, older heart to brand new heart, it seems they beat in unison, filling a place you didn’t know was empty, and nothing is ever the same again.

Time is both precious and tormenting. The longer you want to savor the sight, breathe in the scent, and caress the tiny fingers and toes of this new person in your life; the faster the minutes, hours, and days seem fly by. All too soon you’re faced with saying goodbye. Your stomach clenches.  Tears flow.  A heart divides.

A temporary condition?  Afraid not. A one time thing? Nope! Carson is two now: my heart?  Still  pulled in different directions.  We’ve recently been blessed with Owen: my heart? The chasm has grown.   The struggle is real! While my very being wants to wipe every tear, experience every milestone, calm every fear, and read bedtime stories every night with my grandsons; I’m also drawn home. My normal: the routine, responsibilities, schedule, and those that wait for me, beckon. Yes, a heart divided….wanting to cling to one place while yearning for the other.

Pondering this heart situation, it has occurred to me that we suffer in a similar way as Christians.  

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Colossians 3:1-2 (NIV)

Above?  Earthly Things? Earthly things? Above? A heart divided! I  often find myself torn between a heart that is focused on me and my wants and one that is looking to follow God’s plan for my life. Maybe you do, too. And while we want to be home with Christ, where our fears will be calmed and our tears wiped away; to get there, we are faced with saying goodbye to THIS home. We cling to our earthly life and yet yearn for Heaven. Thank goodness God sent Jesus to bridge the gap of our broken hearts! Jesus said:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.  You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.” “I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:1-4, 6-7 (NIV)

I wasn’t prepared for the powerful love that comes with being a grandparent. I’m blessed to only live four hours away from the boys and technology helps keep us connected in-between visits.  Goodbyes will always be hard. As my heart continues to pull me in different directions, I pray it reminds me to always stay connected to the One who, with the greatest love of all, is preparing a place for me where my heart will be divided no more.

 

 

 

 

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Treasured

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Rounding the last corner after a long drive with two small children, I spotted her house.  As I pulled in the drive my eyes found hers as she came from between the brightly colored hanging plants, a smile lighting up her face and her arms already spread wide to welcome me. A silent sigh from deep within escaped  through my lips, releasing the stresses of the trip and so much more. We’d made it; despite spilled french fries, backseat territory arguments, unscheduled pit stops, and highway construction, we’d reached our destination….my Grandma’s arms! 

Being at Grandma’s for me, was always a respite from the rest of the world. Affection abounded, caring overflowed, and despite what was going on in her life, I was always welcomed  with her whole heart. She enveloped me into a place of tenderness and acceptance, but more than that, she had a way of making me feel truly  treasured.

Looking back, I can’t tell you the exact words or actions my Grandma used to create such a sense of being cherished, but I can say that those times wrapped in her love and encouragement were a rare and precious gift I cling to today.

I don’t know about you, but I can easily lose sight of myself as a treasure and instead focus on my “rusty junk pile”. I fail, disappoint, abandon, compare, complain…you know the list. Oh, how I question my worth!

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it.  Let’s have a feast and celebrate.” Luke 15:20-23

Here’s what the open, welcoming arms of my Grandma and those of the Prodigal Son’s Father are teaching me:

Our worth isn’t measured by what we do or don’t do.  It’s measured by love.

 That junk pile we worry about? Love took care of that when Jesus spread His arms, wide on the cross to welcome each of us to our destination in Heaven, where we will be accepted, loved, and treasured. Now that’s reason to celebrate!

I’m Wrecked

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I’m wrecked! Derailed! A goner! Why? Because of a little “bump” in the road that changed everything….my first grandchild! Life has been forever transformed.  My priorities are altered. And my heart?  My heart literally overflows with a love like I’ve never known.  I ache when I’m away from him and joy fills every part of my being when I hold him close in my arms.  My thoughts and dreams have shifted and oh, when I look in those precious little eyes I see hope for the future. Yes, this MiMi is a wreck! And it’s a great wrecked!

You know?  It occurs to me that God knew that I’d be wrecked by this new little miracle, but even more importantly He knew that you and I would be wrecked when he sent the miracle of His son…a little “bump” that changed EVERYTHING!  The birth and death of Jesus forever transforms lives.  His sacrifice shows us  love greater than we’ve ever known and priorities are changed when we accept His gift of that overflowing love.  Thoughts and dreams shift from being ours to becoming more like Him.  We ache for Him when we drift away and the joy we experience when we’re held in the arms of Jesus defies understanding.  Yes, Jesus came to make our lives a wreck.  To stop us in our tracks, spin us around, and put us on a new course. a course that leads us to Him.  And when we look into the eyes of Jesus we too see hope.  But not just hope for the future.  We see precious hope for eternity.  Yes, I’ve been wrecked by Jesus and that’s the most wonderful wrecked of all!

~I have written today’s post as part of Live Free Thursday hosted by Suzanne Eller. Her subject today was “Wrecked”.  Check out other writers entries at www.tsuzanneeller.com

Small Things Change Everything

Our First Meeting

Our First Meeting

How can something so small change everything?

It’s a question I’m asking myself because life as I’ve known it has been permanently altered by a tiny baby being born….my grandson!  This little guy with perfect fingers, soft hair, and a cute nose has made most everything else fade into the background.  My priorities have changed and things I used to think were important aren’t now. My heart is overflowing!  Yes, one gaze upon this small miracle has forever redefined who I am.  I am still a daughter, sister, woman, teacher, friend, wife, and mother, but now for the first time I am “Mimi”!   All the paths I’ve traveled have been leading me to this destination.  I’ve had no map.  It’s been a journey of hard lessons, great happiness, accomplishments, disappointments,  adventure, heartache, forgiveness, and strong love.  Step by step, climb by climb, slips, slides, and sometimes by just hanging on for dear life I’ve gotten to this place of overwhelming joy.  He is my child’s child. She, who I held in my arms, now holds the future in hers.  The depth of emotion I’m experiencing leaves me breathless and my prayers for them roll down my cheeks.

I know I’m not alone.  Maybe you are also a new grandparent or parent with a wee bundle of your own.  Maybe a minute spot on an X-ray has changed everything.  Maybe a tiny seed of friendship has grown to true love. Maybe a still, small voice has guided you on a new path.  Small things DO change our world.  I’m reminded now more than ever that God knew the effect of small things when he sent his Son, a tiny baby to change all of us.  What a gift!  Perfect little hands that would one day be nailed to a cross. A miracle that would redefine who we could be and change our priorities. A life’s beginning who’s journey would be full of overflowing forgiveness and great love. I look at the world around me now and I wonder what the future holds for my precious grand baby. I don’t know of course, but what a comfort to know that He, the creator of all small things holds it and us safely in His arms and THAT changes everything!