Monthly Archives: January 2015

56 Year Old Dreamer?

When You Wish Upon a Star

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Faith is kind
She brings to those she loves
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

When we are young we all have dreams, goals, and longings. But what about now? I’m almost 56 years old. Are my dreaming days over? For a while I thought so, until I retired, that is, and now I have time to contemplate. Recently, I’ve begun to let a dream or two creep back into my mind and now my heart has joined in. Tiny flickers like stars in the summer sky waiting to ignite.

Unfortunately, accompanying these “flights of fancy” is an insistent voice that whispers things like “you’re too old”, “it will never work”, you’re not good enough” in an attempt to douse the flames of hope and excitement before I even give them a chance to shine.

I’d like to believe ole Jiminy Cricket, that making dreams come true is as easy as wishing on a star. Life has taught me however, that wishing and dreaming are the easy parts. It takes work and dedication to make them come true and sometimes even then they don’t. I’ve found it way too easy to just give up on dreaming and now I find that it’s uncomfortable for me to acknowledge these new desires of my soul. It’s much easier for this procrastinator to do just that. I love the quote; “Procrastination is the killer of dreams.” How true I’ve let that be for me!

Writing this post is my first step in giving myself permission to dream again and not just dream but to do everything I can to make my dreams come true. I will have to battle my worst enemy….myself. I’ll have to DO instead of just think. I’ll have to believe. I’ll have to risk failing. I’ll have to find ways to” fan the flames” until the burning desire in my heart is greater than the fear in my head. And maybe, just maybe tonight I’ll go outside, look up, and “wish on a star as dreamers do”….. just in case Jiminy’s right.


Dare to believe
Realize it’s time to try
Envision success
Avoid Procrastination
Make it happen

I hope to keep you up to date on my journey of following a dream. I would love to know what your dreams are! Feel free to share with me by leaving your comments.

Simple, Silly Things

The Big Muskie Bucket

The Big Muskie Bucket

Not too long ago, my husband and I took a road trip in Ohio. One of the things we wanted to do was to find out what “The Big Muskie Bucket” was. We had passed the sign for it many times but didn’t have any idea where to find it. It took us a while, but when we did, it was well worth the drive. We learned that it is the largest mobile mining dragline bucket ever made and large it is! I am 5’7” but standing inside Ole Muskie made me feel tiny! Lately, watching the news, reading Face Book posts, and interacting with the world around me has also begun to make me feel small.

I’m pretty sure you’re going to think that I’m off my rocker (remember I’ve told you before that I am crazy) but there’s no better place that proves my point than on the road. I know that I’m old fashioned but when I learned to drive waaaaay back in the 70’s our instructor instilled in us a responsibility to use good manners on the road. Signaling and waiting to see the other person’s headlights in your mirror before pulling in front of them, moving over to allow others to merge, and waiting to pull into traffic until there is room enough as to not cause another driver to have to slow down are just a few examples I still believe in. Simple, silly things? Maybe, but these simple things can make the difference between a pleasant trip and high blood pressure.

The road however, isn’t the only place where we need good manners. Somewhere along our way, we as a society have become so focused on ourselves and our agendas that saying a “please”, “thank you”, or “excuse me” is all but extinct. Add on top of that the need we all have to be heard, often at the expense of listening to anyone else’s point of view. This equation creates many unpleasant interactions. I’ve witnessed several situations where the parties were saying the same thing in different ways and neither was willing to stop arguing long enough to realize they were more alike than different. It’s happening more and more every day. I also can’t figure out when it became acceptable to leave our grocery carts in parking places, throw diapers and fast food trash out our car windows, or treat service workers disrespectfully. Simple, silly things?

I’ve always tried to live my life putting others first. In whatever situation I find myself in, I aspire to treat others the way I want to be treated. I liked to think it made a difference, but recently I‘ve begun to doubt myself. How can one person make the world a better place? What makes me think that I can effect a positive impact on those around me? The happenings in the world tell me over and over that I’m a small fish in a big pond…… a simple, silly person. So, feeling dismayed, my heart has been heavy, I‘ve questioned my ability to make a difference, and I’ve felt like giving up. Thankfully that’s when God stepped in. One morning recently, when I was feeling especially discouraged the scripture for my daily devotional was “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven,” Matthew 5:16. Then soon after that I read a quote that said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that”, Martin Luther King. Coincidence? I don’t believe in coincidence. Jesus and Martin Luther King were both men doing the right thing in the midst of a world that tried to make them feel small. Both spent their lives leading humanity on a new and better path. Both went to their deaths fearlessly and selflessly standing up for what is right. Now, let me be very clear. I am certainly not anywhere close to being a Martin Luther King or Jesus! Their words however reach across history to remind and teach me that doing right is always the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter how it makes ME feel and I don’t have to worry about the results. I just have to simply be faithful in the journey one small step at a time. Now that doesn’t seem silly at all.

Wait and See

Wow!  It’s been since October that I’ve written a post!  I have many excuses…..I’ve worked on a couple  projects up at school, I’ve traveled a little, and getting lost in the holiday rush…..all good reasons for not having the time to write…..good, but not the real reason.

The real reason I haven’t written is my own disillusionment and fear.  It was eye-opening for me just now to go back and read my October post, “It’s Time”.  I talk about taking off and living my dreams but instead I have done the exact opposite.  Actually, I’ve been hiding.

I felt ready to retire.  I felt it was time.  I felt it was for the best for me and the school.  I felt God was leading me to a new life and I couldn’t wait. But waiting is exactly what I’m doing and I must admit I’m not doing a very good job of it.  Somehow I thought that my new future was going to emerge from writing this blog.  It hasn’t.  I was sure opportunities were going to knock on my door. The only opportunities I’ve been given are the spam messages to improve my blog that fill my inbox.  I thought I was going to fulfill the longing of my creative spirit and make a difference.  I thought I knew where I was going…..

Keeping busy hasn’t been a problem.  I’ve spent a lot of time back at school substituting, putting up bulletin boards, chairing special projects and I’ve enjoyed it.  It’s just that this isn’t how I envisioned it to be.  Have I made a big mistake?  Did I take my future into my own hands instead of following God’s lead?  I talk a big game but truthfully, I’ve been scared and disappointed in myself.  What have I done?  What am I supposed to do now?  I know…….wait.

So, here I am back to tell you that while I wish I was flying, sailing, climbing, or traveling on a new exciting adventure, I’m actually a little lost and still not sure where I’m going.  It’s a good thing I have a patient husband, family who support me, and friends that cheer me on.  Because really when it’s all said and done, it doesn’t matter where I’m headed.  What matters most is who’s along for the ride and I am richly blessed by MY “traveling partners”!  Am I a little anxious? Yes.  Is this how I pictured retirement?  No.  The reality though is life rarely happens the way we expect it to.  Once we realize it, we always have the choice to give up (as I sort of have been doing) or embrace the moment we’re in (what I’m now going to try to do).  Armed with the confidence that God has a plan, that He can see the whole picture, and the knowledge that I’m surrounded by people who care about me, I’m going to try and relax, let go of my preconceptions, and be grateful for this time of discovery.  Where will it lead me you ask?  Your guess is as good as mine.  I believe we’ll just have to WAIT and see.