It’s time…..past time really. For what you ask? For taking down my hummingbird feeder for the year. I’ve been diligently watching and waiting for an empty feeder, however, it hasn’t happened because there is one lone straggler. I’m not sure why he’s staying behind. Maybe he feels safe here, maybe it’s my special nectar recipe he’s become accustomed to, or maybe he feels weak and needs to build up his strength for the long trip that awaits him. Whatever the reason, he’s here, he’s hungry, and I’m doing my best to help him prepare to be on his way.
I too, am a lingerer. To me, the biggest benefit of retirement so far has been being able to take my mornings slowly. I relish leisurely sipping my coffee, nectar if you will, and then refilling my cup as many times as I want. Casually remaining in my PJ’s instead of quickly getting dressed is refreshing. I’ve dreamed of this languid life and staying behind while the rest of the world rushes off is a great gift. Maybe my hummingbird friend has discovered this too.
There’s a danger to being a lingerer though. For the hummingbird, tarrying can literally mean life or death. For me, the peril is the life or death of my dreams. Living a fulfilling, meaningful life or dying in my procrastination and hesitation. I have an inner creative, kooky side but for most of my life I’ve stifled the ideas and plans that have emerged from that part of me. I vacillate and put off acting on them letting opportunities and experiences flitter away. Oh, I develop those ideas in my mind. I spend time with them but when it comes to taking off with them, I linger. Fear shouts that I will look foolish, complacency reminds me that change is hard, and insecurity whispers that I’m not good enough. I remain hungry for the journey I could have and should have taken.
For the first time in many, many years I have the opportunity to pursue some of those postponed dreams and create some new ones, too. I’ve remained at “the feeder” long enough. God has gifted me with what I need and my life experiences have taught and prepared me to move ahead. With the help and support of those around me and lots of prayer, it’s time….past time really, for me to be on my way and fly!